Supreme Court Declines to Look at Dildos

From the all-knowing AP:

The Supreme Court declined Tuesday to review the constitutionality of a state law banning the sale of sex toys, rejecting an appeal that said consumers have a right to sexual privacy.

Without comment, justices let stand a lower court ruling that said Alabama had a right to police the sale of devices that can be sexually stimulating.

The American Civil Liberties Union filed the challenge on behalf of merchants and users seeking to overturn the 1998 state law. They say the Supreme Court's 2003 ruling in Lawrence v. Texas, which decriminalized gay sex on privacy grounds, protects sex toy users from unwarranted state intrusion in their homes.

"The sexual devices covered by the statute have many recognized beneficial uses and are used by consenting adults in deeply private acts that are beyond the reach of government regulation," argues the filing on behalf of Sherri Williams, an adult novelty retailer, and seven other women and two men.

A divided three-judge panel of the Atlanta-based 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals disagreed. It said in a ruling last July that siding with the sex toy merchants could open the door to the legalization of undesirable sexual behavior such as prostitution.

"If the people of Alabama in time decide that prohibition on sex toys is misguided, or ineffective, or just plain silly, they can repeal the law and be finished with the matter," the court said.

"On the other hand, if we today craft a new fundamental right by which to invalidate the law, we would be bound to give that right full force and effect in all future cases including, for example, those involving adult incest, prostitution, obscenity, and the like."

That's right, I learned that in math class: Dildo + Human Orifices = Prostitution.

Um, if anything, I think legalizing sex toys will decrease prostitution. Like my pappy always said, "Buy a whore, you have mediocre sex for twenty minutes, buy a pocket-pussy, fuck like a champ for a week." What? That's what he said!

But seriously, I'd like to commend the Supreme Court for not somehow trying to link the legalization of sex toys with homosexuality. We're making real progress here!


P.S.
I apologize to any of my professors and parents' friends for such a crude entry. Hmmm, maybe "entry" isn't the best word. Oh well, you can still see my remorse, can't you?