Middlenamegate

Here's a weird story from the BG. Apparently the WH refuses to release future-AG Alberto R. Gonzales' middle name. Check out the nice quote from Gonzales where he essentially says that freedom of the press is "not absolute." Um, excuse me, Mr. Gonzales? Yeah, you might want to check out something called the Bill of Rights, you know the thing that your job requires you to protect. Yeah, look under "Amendment I."

And now, on to Middlenamegate!

TEN DAYS AGO, in a news story on President George W. Bush's decision to nominate Alberto R. Gonzales as attorney general, New York Times reporters laconically noted of the Bush administration's top lawyer that "the White House declined to release his middle name, saying that Mr. Gonzales prefers the initial."

What, one wonders, is the big secret? True, speaking for the White House in 2002, Gonzales warned a group of Associated Press editors that although journalists may have a right to know what's going on in government, "we also believe such rights are not absolute." But isn't this taking things too far?

The media hasn't pounced on Middlenamegate, and even government-watchdog outfits like Cryptome.org, whose website features satellite close-ups of Gonzales' Vienna, Va., home and Mrs. Gonzales' office phone number, seem disinclined to investigate. So I've done a little idle speculating of my own.

It's possible, of course, that Gonzales' middle name is merely a personally embarrassing one: Rosebud, for example, which in a memorable episode of "The Dick Van Dyke Show" turned out to be the middle name of Rob and Laura Petrie's son Richie. And then there's Ragnar, Reuben, Rico, Romeo, Rudyard. But given the fraught atmosphere in Washington these days, I suspect the name in question is one that might prove politically embarrassing. Perhaps it's French: Ry? R? Robbe-Grillet? Or a left-leaning original coinage: RoeWade? Racialpreferences? Rightsfordetainees? Or maybe it's too right-wing: Reagan? Rove? Rambo?